fake

I have been thinking a lot these past few weeks about counterfeits. Those things that look real, but don’t stand up to scrutiny when compared to the real thing. I have a friend who was in high level law enforcement for a number of years. I remember him telling me one time that when new agents are assigned to the fraud unit, they are not given counterfeit dollars to study. They spend hours upon hours, year after year studying the real thing. What happens is that all of the signs and nuances of the real become so engrained in their brain that when a fake shows, up, they immediately know. There is something that goes off inside that tells them this thing does not hold up to the standard of truth. It’s the same way with people.

Real friends are a treasure. They are rare and they are beautiful. Real friends drop everything when the crap hits the fan and show up at your door with a 6pack of awesome and a box of tissue. They hold you while you sob, and they throw axes with you when your anger is too big for your body to contain. They check on you at all hours of the night and pray, really pray, for the work God is doing in your life to be complete. Real friendship is holy work. Counterfeit friends look like real friends until you are the one sending out the bat signal. When you need them to step up to the plate for you the way you have done for them time and time again, you see the disconnect. When you need them most, all they can muster is a “sorry you’re hurting” text. When it’s your turn to make the ask, they simply refuse, or worse, chose to respond in a way that serves their own selfish motives. They turn your pain around and make it about them. Counterfeit friends never give unless they will benefit in some way in return. The relationship is not actually friendship at all. It is one-sided and it resembles idolatry in every way.

In the same vein, we can look at the leadership in our lives. Real leaders walk the walk and talk the talk. They see the individual value in their people. They equip you for the task at hand and then they will release you to go and do and win. Real leaders build healthy people who go and do healthy things. Real leadership is a life of sacrifice. Counterfeit leaders do none of the above. They usually say all the right things which can make it hard to detect.  Just like a counterfeit dollar bill, it appears at first glance to be just like the real thing. However, behind the good words, sometimes even God words, they control and manipulate the people and situations around them. Instead of equipping people, they create dependent people. Instead of sending people out, they keep them close in an effort to selfishly prop up their own ego and cause. You can only grow to the degree that they will let you. The sleight of hand here is that they do it all while telling you it is for your own good. They can help you. They can teach you. They strive to become your source. Counterfeit leadership leaves you enmeshed, broken and stuck.

The problem with these counterfeits on a larger scale is a little something called the power of association. Simply put, we become like who we hang out with. If we spend most of our time and energy around counterfeit people, we will become counterfeit ourselves. Life is more caught than taught. We pick up on subtle hues and cues of the people we are around. In work, in school, in relationships and in church, we slowly slide in the direction of the people we spend the most time with. Most people don’t start out as counterfeits, but they have chosen to allow other counterfeits in their circle of influence and the slow fade begins. And slow it is. Day after day, year after year, they began to morph into something and someone else entirely.

So, what gives us our definition of real? Jesus. Period. He is the best example of a real friend anyone could ask for. He literally laid down His life for His friends. All of them.

John 15:13 says “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”

And His leadership was on point too. He called the disciples, pulled them close for a short time to teach and equip them, and then He sent them out to do kingdom work because He knew keeping them close would only hinder their faith.

Matthew 28:19 is the Great Commission. “Therefore, go and makes disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

Jesus is the real deal. He shows us clearly in His word how we can love people well. Being a real friend to those we meet and being a real leader to those we have been called to steward is not only good, and right, and true. It’s biblical and it is who we have been called to be as believers. We are called to love. And love is not simply a word or an idea or a platitude. Love isn’t just something we say to make people feel good. The word “love” doesn’t conquer all. Love is a verb, and it is spelled S.A.C.R.I.F.I.C.E.

Just like an authentic dollar bill, Jesus is the litmus test for measuring the friendships and leadership in our lives. Only He can be our source. It’s a tale as old as time. Just ask Adam and Eve. When we find ourselves wandering and wondering in a world where everything appears fuzzy, Jesus shows us clearly the difference between a counterfeit and the real deal.