grapes

Have you seen it? If you don’t have small humans under 5 in your home, there is a good chance you missed it. Of course, I am talking about Frozen 2, the latest Disney phenomenon to have taken the world by storm this past holiday season. My daughter was a prime target for the first movie as it came out the winter before she turned 3. We even had a pretty impressive duet worked out by the time we retired the soundtrack. This time, it was my son who was all kinds of fired up to see the sequel and jump back into the story of some of his favorite animated characters.

 If you haven’t seen it, it’s a great story and fills in a lot of the gaps left by the first. The message is good and teaches some solid values that most kids are missing today. The music had a beat I could dance to. But about halfway through the film, I had a moment. This moment where what was on the screen aligned so beautifully with what was already inside of me and tears started to flow. In a very dark, very low and very scary place, one of the characters closes her eyes and sings a song about just doing the next right thing. I wanted to stand up in the theatre and scream YES!!! But I didn’t.

 But I wanted to. The next right thing is what has gotten me through the last 16 years. It was one of the first lessons I learned in recovery. It was what I told my girls every week in small group who were all facing demons of their own. It was what got me out of bed every day when my marriage and my business were falling apart. It was what helped me survive postpartum, because nobody tells you what a special kind of hell that is! It was the bridge that got me from there to here.

 The next right thing is what we do to survive the process. Do you know what I mean when I say, “the process?” Anytime you are trying to grow or change or move forward in any area of your life, the results will never be instantaneous. There is always a process of breaking down and building back up for things to look different on the other side. Whatever the dream in your heart, the vision in your mind or the goals on your white board, there is going to be a process to get from here to there. We don’t just jump on the express train, punch our ticket and get off at our destination. That’s not how life works; and from my experience, it’s not even how mass transit works.

 And the process is painful. The process of becoming feels more like a slow, painful death most days. It is so easy to look at the big picture and get overwhelmed. It can all feel too big and too hard and too much. We don’t anticipate how long or how hard the process will be. We don’t factor into the equation how much the process will cost us. And on those dark, low, scary days, we usually find that we have fertile soil perfect for planting the seeds of doubt. Doubt that it will ever happen. Doubt that the pain will ever end. Doubt that we will ever do or be or feel more than we are in this moment. Doubt that brighter days are coming. Doubt that we are even worthy of what comes next.

 My friend, HEAR ME on this. Your worth has nothing to do with how much pain is involved in your process. What you are going through is not a reflection of who you are. You are unique, loveable, forgive, worthy, known and pursued. THAT is who you are. At a women’s leadership event I attended recently, Beth Katz said “just because you aren’t wine yet doesn’t mean you aren’t grape enough.” #preach. The grapes on the vine are just wine in the process. Do you know why California is great for making wine? Because the climate forces the vines to dig deep for water and nutrients in the soil. The harder the struggle, the sweeter the grape.

“Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:4

The process of becoming is painful because pain is what forces us to change. Change is necessary for us to step into what’s next.  We can’t take our old self into our new season. Much like grapes are crushed in preparation for their next leg of the journey, so must we undergo a pressing that refines and defines us in ways we haven’t known before. Doing the next right thing means we don’t have to figure it all out or know all the steps to get from here to there. We don’t even have to see or understand what will be required of us tomorrow. We just have to be brave enough today to take a step. Pick up that phone. Eat that salad. Cry those tears. Just don’t give up. You are grape enough. And when we finally come to a place in our process that feels like breakthrough, we will look back and see that path to our current victory was just a road paved with next right things.

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